Welcome To The Madness-A Dib in Wonderland Tribute
by Ed's Electric Frankfuter
Summary: Readers, authors, I present to you, this rhyming poem that's a tribute too! Click on the link and you will find, poetry born from my twisted mind! So read, review, and don't forget! The madness isn't over yet!


Welcome To The Madness - A Tribute To Dib In Wonderland  
  
A Rhyming Poem By Implosion  
  
  
  
Author's Notes - After working on this for a week, maybe two, Implosion is back, with something for you. A tribute to a fic, and if you read it you can see, why the author's gone down in history! Her name's Taryn (or Spectra), my friend, you know who you are, who's become a fanfiction superstar! So everyone cheer and give a big hand, for Spectra, this poem, and DIB IN WONDERLAND!!!  
  
Disclaimer -  
  
Taryn, you're great. This poem's for you, but I don't own a thing, so Nick, please don't sue!  
  
  
  
It's 3AM, got an aching head,  
  
But I really cannot go to bed,  
  
Not after I heard the voice that said  
  
Welcome to the madness.  
  
For from my sleep I did awake  
  
And I did stop and stare  
  
For in a waistcoat and a rabbit suit  
  
'Twas ZIM that stood right there.  
  
I chased him as far as I could go,  
  
Til I could go no more,  
  
Then down the rabbit hole I fell  
  
And came across the door.  
  
The doorknob told me "Try the bottle"  
  
The bottle I did try,  
  
But then I was suprised to find  
  
That I'd shrunk to 6 inches high.  
  
The door said I'd left behind the key,  
  
So I bit the "BITE ME" cake,  
  
But after doing so I found  
  
That was a HUGE mistake..  
  
The door spoke up,  
  
"Try the bottle again"  
  
So I knelt down, ignoring  
  
The voice inside my brain.  
  
Down I shrank, and ran straight through  
  
A puddle of the tears I'd cried,  
  
And unlocking the door, I nearly drowned,  
  
In the ocean on the other side!  
  
I coughed and spluttered, only seeing,  
  
Water, water everywhere,  
  
I swam to the shore where I saw Zim  
  
And ran to catch the speedy hare (er...rabbit.)  
  
The 'rabbit' seemed to leap ahead  
  
Like an insane rubber ball,  
  
But then I stopped, for I had hit  
  
A statue, sleek and tall.  
  
As I looked closer, "What weird looking statues.."  
  
Said I, looking at the two, both tall and thin.  
  
"You think we're STATUES!?" said the Red,  
  
"I'm insulted!" piped his twin.  
  
The living statues leaned in closer,  
  
I gulped as they loomed over me.  
  
"There's a dent in my hovery-thing!" the Red one yelled,  
  
His voice harsh with anger, while I squeaked "Sorry.."  
  
His Scarlet eyes narrowed as he screamed  
  
"Sorry?! This will cost loads to repair!!"  
  
"Don't worry, Red." the Purple said  
  
"You've got insurance, so don't despair."  
  
The pair, they still loomed over me,  
  
As I looked into their pupil-less eyes  
  
Then plucking up my little courage,  
  
I managed to say "Who are you guys?"  
  
"I'm Tweedle Red" "I'm Tweedle Purple" said the two,  
  
Finishing the greeting with a bow.  
  
"Nice to meet you.." I replied  
  
"But I really must get going now."  
  
Feeling nervous, I turned to leave  
  
My fear I was trying to swallow,  
  
When Purple grabbed me "That's no way to do it."  
  
"An antennae salute must follow!"  
  
"But I don't have antennae" I complained,  
  
"Then what's this?" Red did say,  
  
As he flicked at my hair spike, then Purple shuddered  
  
"We'll have to do it the human way..."  
  
I shook their hands, even though I was scared  
  
By their green fingers, long and weird.  
  
"I'm glad that's over.." Red sighed in relief,  
  
As if 'twas my hand that they feared.  
  
"So, what's your name?" The Red one asked,  
  
"Dib.." I said, eyes darting side-to-side.  
  
"That's not your fault." He then remarked,  
  
Ignoring my frown as he replied.  
  
More scared than ever, I turned to run...  
  
"You can't leave yet!" Red protested,  
  
"Let's play a game!" "Ooh!"  
  
"I've got Twister!" Purple suggested.  
  
I struggled in his grip, to no avail,  
  
Feeling as if I was going to scream,  
  
When at the same moment, they both revealed..  
  
A laser and a smoke machine?!  
  
The tweedles then began to argue,  
  
And grabbing fast my chance to run,  
  
I left the pair fighting over their gadgets,  
  
Still claiming "Mine is much more fun!"  
  
I ran and ran, straight down a path,  
  
To see not the cottage of storybook fame.  
  
It was Zim's base, I stopped to stare,  
  
Then heard a voice shouting a name.  
  
"Mary Ann!" The voice called out,  
  
I turned, and saw none other than Zim.  
  
"Get me my gloves!" The green one yelled,  
  
As he pushed me indoors and locked me in!  
  
Sighing, I began to search,  
  
I searched as much as I was able.  
  
I wiped my brow and took a drink  
  
From a can of Poop upon the table.  
  
As I rummaged through a drawer,  
  
I gave a sudden cry,  
  
My head had just hit the ceiling!  
  
No wonder, I was 10 feet high!!  
  
Larger and larger, almost filling the room,  
  
I continued to grow, almost breaking the door  
  
As I moved, when all of a sudden, it stopped!  
  
"I just hope I don't grow any more..."  
  
My knees hugged to my chest, I growled at the can.  
  
"This is all your fault.." I said.  
  
"Mary Ann! What are you doing in there?!"  
  
Zim yelled, as I filled with dread.  
  
The rabbit advanced, running up to the house,  
  
But was suddenly thrown to the floor.  
  
He brushed himself off and got up again,  
  
Since I'd slammed my foot against the door.  
  
Zim pulled on the door with all his might,  
  
But I held it shut with ease.  
  
He retreated, and then I heard a clatter,  
  
So I crawled to the window on my hands and knees.  
  
I laughed as Zim was hit, and finding  
  
The room was less cramped without my arm in there,  
  
I picked up a tiny TV set,  
  
And flicked through the channels without a care.  
  
Still chucking, I could hear his terrified screams.  
  
"AAAHHHH!!! THERE'S A MONSTER IN MY HOUSE!!"  
  
But I put down the TV when he said  
  
"Keef! Come here you human louse!"  
  
Keef came on command, gave a cheerful "Hi!"  
  
"There's a horrible doom-beast in my base!"  
  
The child's face paled, as he saw what was there.  
  
"And get that scared look off your face!"  
  
The boy looked at the gigantic limb.  
  
"It's just an arm." Keef pointed out  
  
"Have you EVER seen an arm that size?!"  
  
Zim added with an angry shout.  
  
"It's still an arm." He said, as his 'best friend' smiled,  
  
His voice honey-sweet, and full of cheese.  
  
"Please Keef?" Zim said, giving his 'friend' a net,  
  
"Okay!" the boy chirped, eager to please.  
  
To the roof he climbed, and slid down a tube  
  
Which I ripped open and blew hard,  
  
And then I heard a high-pitched scream  
  
As the boy crash-landed in the yard.  
  
"Stupid human!" the alien growled.  
  
"Can't you EVER do ANYTHING right?!"  
  
Then knocking him over into the dirt  
  
I laughed, enjoying my altered height.  
  
"Keef!" "Yes sir?" I heard them say.  
  
"We can't get it out, so let's explode it all!"  
  
"You can't do this! This is INSANE!!"  
  
I screamed, my fists thumping the wall.  
  
Realising they couldn't hear me,  
  
The thoughts of doom making me sick,  
  
I searched around for something to use,  
  
That would make me small, and hopefully quick..  
  
"After we're done, can I make waffles?" "But you already made some waffles  
  
today, they're in the kitchen as we speak."  
  
And it was then I realised,  
  
It was the waffles I had to seek!  
  
I looked and looked, and after much searching  
  
I finally found the food I sought.  
  
And knowing zero hour was closer,  
  
I downed them without a second thought.  
  
Zim's eyes bugged out as he looked at his watch  
  
"OH NO! OH NO! I'm late! I'M LATE!"  
  
He bolted, as a tiny figure followed.  
  
'Twas me, cursing those waffles I ate.  
  
As I was running, I felt the ground shake  
  
But ignored it and ran on.  
  
I stopped, exausted, then heard a voice  
  
So I looked to the mushroom it came from.  
  
"Who are YOU?" the raspy voice growled,  
  
"Ms.Bitters?!" I said, as she gave a frown.  
  
"Your name's Ms.Bitters?" "Just forget it.." I turned to leave,  
  
When she said "Come back here, and sit back down!"  
  
Hurrying back, and sitting down,  
  
(The teacher's yell gave me quite a fright)  
  
And after waiting there a while,  
  
The blue skinned bug just snapped "Recite!"  
  
"Recite from your wildlife survival manual  
  
On how to skin a moose."  
  
Although it was stupid, I cleared my thoat and  
  
Began, without a single excuse.  
  
"That's enough." The teacher said as I finished,  
  
And blowing a plume of purple smoke,  
  
Realised my plight and said "What's your problem?"  
  
Her tone uncaring as she spoke.  
  
"Well, it's been a lot of things..  
  
It's like I'm in some kind of other dimension.."  
  
"Yeah, yeah...whatever." The blue bug yawned,  
  
Obviously not paying any attention.  
  
"And this growing/shrinking junk, that's the worst..  
  
It's annoying changing sizes 5 times in one day..."  
  
"I've had plenty of experience with things that ANNOY..."  
  
"Then you know what I mean." I did say.  
  
"Everytime I eat or drink anything I grow or shrink..."  
  
"So don't eat and drink things." she retorted back.  
  
"Well, I know that NOW..." I complained, angrily.  
  
"Silence!" she said, puffing like a smokestack.  
  
"Exactly what size do you want to be?"  
  
The bug said, after a long wait.  
  
"I just want to be normal sized. Being tiny is awful"  
  
But I realised my mistake far too late.  
  
"So you're too GOOD to be like an insect, huh?!"  
  
I closed my eyes and waited to die,  
  
But when I looked again, she was gone!  
  
As the caterpillar was now a butterfly!  
  
"I have some advice." The butterfly snarled  
  
"One side will make you shrink, the other grow."  
  
"Um, one side of wh-..." but before I could finish, she yelled  
  
"THE MUSHROOM OF COURSE!!!" as she turned to go.  
  
Cursing the bug, I took the pieces.  
  
Picking up the right-hand one, I hesitated  
  
Before taking a bite, then I started to grow.  
  
I could've laughed, I was so elated.  
  
I was nearly back to normal height, but  
  
My eyes filled with panic...my growth hadn't stopped!  
  
I yelled and cursed as I crashed through the trees  
  
And remarked "I think my ears just popped.."  
  
A pigeon settled in my hair,  
  
So I flicked it away and sighed.  
  
But since more birds were crowding round,  
  
I decided to try the left-hand side.  
  
I bit the mushroom, and in a split-second  
  
I was suddenly suspended in the sky!  
  
After falling to the ground, I picked myself up  
  
Tiny again, just a few inches high.  
  
Annoyed, I picked up the right piece again.  
  
"This is the last time I'll do this." I swore,  
  
I licked the mushroom, and using this method  
  
I was soon back to normal once more.  
  
"Now which way do I go?" I said as I looked at the paths.  
  
"It depends where you want to go." "Who said that?"  
  
Laughed filled the air, then I noticed a smile  
  
That appeared in the air, closely followed by the cat.  
  
"You're a cat.." I said. "My, aren't you the bright one."  
  
The feline grinned and bared its claws  
  
"But I'm not just a cat, I'm a Cheshire Cat." I stared,  
  
'Til it said "I like Funyuns."after a pause.  
  
"What do you want?" I tried again.  
  
"Actually, I noticed that you seem a bit lost.."  
  
"I guess I am.." I replied, frustrated  
  
But determined to get home at any cost.  
  
"I just want to know which road I should take."  
  
"Why not go this way?" "Why, what's down there?"  
  
"I dunno." The the creature said.  
  
"I thought you didn't really care."  
  
I felt myself losing my temper again.  
  
"I meant I don't care as long as I find Zim."  
  
"Zim?" It asked. ""I haven't seen Zim...  
  
the Mad Hatter might know, you should go and ask him."  
  
"Mad Hatter?" I said, as I scrunched up my nose  
  
"I don't think I like the sound of that..."  
  
"Oh he's not so much mad as he is very stupid,  
  
but he's still quite insane." smiled the cat.  
  
"I don't want to go around insane people.."  
  
"Oh you can't help that, we're all insane here."  
  
"I'M NOT INSANE!!!" "Yes you are, or you'd be home."  
  
The cat put simply, grinning from ear-to-ear.  
  
"And how do you know you're insane?" I asked,  
  
"Three words: Happy Noodle Boy."  
  
I squinted at it, and when it saw my expression  
  
It vanished, amid giggles of mindless joy.  
  
"By the way..." I jumped into the air, at the sound  
  
Of a voice. "You'll want to go that a-way.."  
  
The cat chuckled evilly at my fright.  
  
"And please, please do enjoy your stay.."  
  
I followed a path, with an aching haed..  
  
'Twas then I heard the voice I dread  
  
Yes then I heard that voice that said,  
  
Welcome to the madness. 


End file.
